


Conviction

by ipoiledi



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Choking, M/M, Orgasm Delay, subspace Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-17
Updated: 2014-11-17
Packaged: 2018-02-25 18:19:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2631593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ipoiledi/pseuds/ipoiledi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Why d’you want it?” </p><p>Steve swallows and his eyes search Bucky’s face, dark now. “I just,” he says, but his voice comes out hoarse, and so he tries it again. “I just do, Buck, I want — I want you to know that I trust you. I want to give you that.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conviction

**Author's Note:**

> I DON'T KNOW, I'm just very on the fence about this one. enjoy hopefully?

Bucky tries breathing in through his nose and back out through his mouth.

“We don’t have to,” says Steve. His eyes are blue and serious. 

“You want to,” Bucky says. 

“Yeah, I want to, and I also want to do a million other things, too. We could watch the game. Or catch up on the list. We still haven’t seen The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.” 

Bucky quirks an eyebrow at him, wry. “If you’re thinking about movies I’m not doin’ my job.” 

Steve huffs a laugh. “You’re doing your job fine.” His voice goes quieter. “Buck, hey. I’m just saying that if you don’t want to, I don’t want to. It’s fine. I won’t be mad. It’s up to you.” 

Bucky thinks this over for a second. He tries to reach back into the scrambled egg mess of his brain, think to what Steve told him, that they used to do things like this, just sometimes, just when they wanted to. Steve’s still looking right at him with those big eyes, all solemn, his mouth in a line. He’s worried as hell and bad at hiding it. Bucky raises up his left hand and touches the metal thumb to the hollow of Steve’s throat, hearing Steve’s sharp intake of breath. Stevie isn’t lying, Bucky knows; he won’t be mad. But he does want it. He wants it bad.

“Why, though?” Bucky asks. He looks up a bit to Steve, and they’re standing so close in the dim light of the bedroom that their noses almost touch. “Why d’you want it?” 

Steve swallows and his eyes search Bucky’s face, dark now. “I just,” he says, but his voice comes out hoarse, and so he tries it again. “I just do, Buck, I want — I want you to know that I trust you. I want to give you that.”

Bucky thinks this over and skims his left thumb over Steve’s adam’s apple while it bobs. His throat’s so pale and pretty. God, it’s pretty. 

“And I like it,” confesses Steve. “I really, Buck, I like it. But that doesn’t mean we gotta —” 

“Hush up,” Bucky says. “Hmm? For a second. Open your mouth.” 

Steve does, and Bucky swears to Christ that he can feel Steve’s heart speed up between their clothes. He shifts closer, close enough to feel Steve up against his thigh. Bucky traces his thumb around Steve’s open lips, and then he dips in and kisses him. The pressure sensors tell him Steve’s jaw is moving under his middle and index fingers. He pulls back and Steve tries to muffle the sound he makes but Bucky hears it anyway. 

“Okay,” Bucky murmurs. “Okay, yeah. But you gotta promise me, Stevie, if I hurt you — I can’t ever hurt you again, you understand me?“

“You’re not gonna hurt me. But you can tap out whenever, don’t matter. You don’t like it, we’ll stop, no questions.” 

“Okay,” Bucky repeats. With his right hand he reaches down to feel Steve’s cock, getting hard and hot already. He isn’t sure yet completely if he’ll like it, but he’s sure he wants to try. “Okay,” he says again, real quiet. And then he dips forward and kisses Steve’s pretty wet mouth. Loosely he curls his left hand around Steve’s neck and rests his thumb real light in the hollow of his throat, just testing it out. Steve shivers everywhere and kisses back passive and soft. He’s never like this. God damn, it usually takes Bucky hours of work before Steve’s like this. His baby’s so sweet for it tonight, and it gets Bucky hot to think about. 

Bucky fits his hand around Steve’s throat all the way. He keeps kissing on him, and thinks about other ways he’s rough with Steve: in ways he doesn’t mean to be, like sometimes when he talks. When the nightmares were at their worst he would break things. He also thinks about how much he likes yanking on Steve’s short hair, or holding him down by the scruff of his neck, or smacking his ass red. 

Steve makes a little noise because Bucky’s squeezing now, just a little, just testing it out. The joints of his hand whir and click in between the quiet sounds of kissing. He gets his right hand up under Steve’s shirt so he can feel him up, pinch his tits. When he pulls away Steve’s eyes are hooded and glassy. Bucky tightens his hand a little more and Steve makes another little sound. 

“What do you want, baby?” Bucky asks. Steve’s mouth is dropped open and so of course Bucky kisses him again, and then he just can’t help it, and he presses up close to Steve, settling his dick against his hip so Steve knows just what Bucky plans to do with him. “What do you want?” 

“Will you…?” He’s distracted. Bucky’s distracting him. “Buck, I want you in me.”

Magic words. Gets his dick wet every God damn time. Bucky presses his mouth lushly to the corner of Steve’s mouth, and his cheek, and his jaw, and then he lets go of Steve’s throat so that he can tug gently on the short hairs at the back of his head. Then he gets his hands up under Steve’s shirt, and he kisses him on the mouth, again and again, and rubs at his nipples until Steve’s moaning quiet and low in his throat, his legs opening. Those curves — God _damn_. “Baby,” Bucky mumbles, into his mouth. “Oh, sweetheart. Alright, baby. Yeah.” 

“We don’t gotta,” Steve repeats, but he’s gasping already. 

“I want to, though,” Bucky confesses, and tugs Steve’s lower lip between his teeth. “I really do wanna try.” 

Just like that Steve’s shirt hits the floor, and then Bucky’s, and he wiggles Steve out of his jeans and his tight little briefs and pushes him down onto the bed, naked and hard and breathless. So pretty. So goddamn pretty. Bucky goes a little stupid every time Steve takes his clothes off, it’s true, but to see him in the lowering light of the afternoon all spread out over their bed, wanting it so bad, wanting to be owned, Jesus Christ — Bucky doesn’t know what to do with himself. 

Bucky leans over him on his hands and knees and kisses Steve deep and long. He gets distracted with it just like he always does, too, and still can’t really bring himself to stop even when Steve starts wiggling around and making little noises because he likes it and wants more. Finally Bucky starts groping around on the nightstand for the slick, and knocks over a book, and Steve snorts into his mouth.

“Yeah, yeah, yuk it up,” Bucky says, sitting back and popping off the cap. “I’d like to see you act half as smooth —“ 

Steve kicks him in the side, his eyes bright. “Bullshit. Every time I’m doin’ you —“ 

“Twice a _year_ —“ 

“ — I’m smooth as hell.” 

“Really,” Bucky says, dubious, leaning down close. His hair is falling out of the ponytail a little and curtaining their faces. Their noses touch. “We should test that out sometime.” 

“Don’t get distracted, Sergeant,” Steve tells him, smiling soft. Bucky, because he’s one sorry bastard, wants to kiss him on the nose. Instead he reaches down and presses his slick fingers against Steve, teasing him, and then fitting one inside him, where he’s always so hot. Steve huffs out a breath against Bucky’s mouth, turning red. Bucky strokes inside him right where he wants it and Steve’s eyebrows knit together. Bucky can’t stop watching his face. Steve’s bitten mouth drops open. “ _Oh_ ,” he says, and his fingers dig into Bucky’s hips. But Bucky’s all in, and with his left hand he reaches up and fits it again around Steve’s throat, and he squeezes down. Steve flushes to his belly and his lashes flutter shut. 

“You like that,” Bucky murmurs. “ _Damn_ , you like that.” 

Steve huffs a breathless laugh. “I was tellin’ you.” 

“You sound good this way,” says Bucky, before he can stop himself. His voice comes out so low it surprises him. He likes this, too. 

Steve’s throat bobs under Bucky’s hand, and when he blinks up at Bucky his eyes are big. 

Inside Steve, Bucky stretches his fingers apart, real gentle, only just a little. He lets up on Steve’s neck so he can stroke it, and trace a finger over the bump of his Adam’s apple. Then he presses down again, and rides his fingers up close in Steve, and Steve moans, shuddering, quiet. His cock is huge and curved against his belly. Bucky is going crazy. He squeezes harder, and thrusts his fingers. Steve’s hands grasp at Bucky’s hips, his nails digging in. He’s gasping. Bucky’s hand whirs when he presses harder. Steve’s head lolls back, to the side, his mouth hanging open. Against his throat Bucky’s left hand glints dully in the afternoon light. 

“Look at you,” Bucky murmurs. “Oh, baby doll. Look at you. You like this?” 

“Yeah,” says Steve. His brow is furrowed in pleasure, and Bucky has to bite down on his own bottom lip watching him. He strokes carefully at Steve inside, so gentle, gentler than he’s being with his hand around his pretty bared throat.

“You mine?” 

“Yeah,” Steve gasps. “Buck, yes.”

Without any warning — it’s mostly because Bucky can’t help himself for one second longer — he pulls his fingers out of Steve, grabs him, and flips him onto his belly. Steve makes a shocked, hot sound, and from behind Bucky manhandles him and makes him kneel, grabs his hands, and plants them above the headboard. Bucky grabs the slick and gets his dick wet, messy, and he grabs his own cock in his right hand and rubs it against Steve’s ass, and smacks it. Then he shoves inside him. Steve digs his nails into the wall and makes a sound like he’s been punched. He’s so tight inside — he’s always so God damn tight. Bucky presses his nose into Steve’s temple and starts rolling his hips dirty and deep and slow. 

“ _Oh_ ,” Steve groans, and tips his head back against Bucky’s shoulder, and bares his throat, asking without asking. So Bucky reaches up and around and closes his left fist around Steve’s neck, bruising a little already like a sweet peach in the summertime. His baby was right, Bucky thinks, a little delirious. He tugs Steve’s earlobe between his teeth and Steve tightens up around his cock, his skin shivering. 

His baby was right about _everything_. 

Bucky scraps his blunt fingernails low across Steve’s pelvis. He tightens his hand on Steve’s neck and presses his mouth lovingly at Steve’s cheek. He’s so hot under Bucky’s right hand, blushing everywhere, just everywhere, and hot on the inside, too. 

“God damn,” Bucky groans. 

“Buck,” Steve whispers. He grinds his ass down and back, and Bucky presses his nose into Steve’s cheek, breathing deep, gripping harder with his left hand. It’s fucking torture. Bucky’s dying. He reaches down a little more and takes Steve’s cock in his right hand, and strokes, firm and lazy, while he moves inside him. 

“ _Buck_ ,” Steve whines. “Buck, Buck, _oh_ ,” and his eyes are squeezed shut, and his thick little ass presses into Bucky’s pelvis, all that soft plush skin, so God damn cute. Sweat smears from Bucky’s forehead to Steve’s temple. Steve’s thighs are trembling. His cock jerks, and Bucky clamps his thumb and forefinger in a tight ring around the base just in time. Steve moans with his mouth open and his hips buck. He tightens up around Bucky’s cock inside so tight Bucky groans out loud and has to stop moving. When he’s done shuddering through it, Bucky feels precome drool down to his fingers.

Bucky noses at Steve’s ear. “Nuh-uh.” 

Steve moans again; gone, he’s gone. Bucky moves his hips, slow, slow, slow. So deep. He lets go of Steve’s cock and reaches up. With his left hand he keeps a hold of him by the throat, and with his right he cups one of Steve’s pecs, and squeezes, and rubs at his nipple. Steve sounds like he’s in agony. Bucky feels high on it.

“Pretty baby,” he croons, “I’m know, I’m sorry. Just can’t resist your tits.” 

Steve sounds so good, little guttural noises each time Bucky rolls his hips: _uh, uh, uh_. His nails are digging the paint right off the wall. Jesus Christ. Bucky squeezes around Steve’s throat. He’s so hot inside. Bucky groans out loud just thinking about it. He moves to Steve’s other nipple and scrapes his thumbnail over it, hard. Steve’s whole body jerks.

“Gimme,” he mumbles. 

“What’s that?” Bucky asks.

“Gimme it,” Steve slurs. He can’t even make a whole sentence. When Bucky pushes back in, close as he can get, and grinds up on him, Steve sounds like he might cry. “God, _oh,_ God…” 

“Baby,” Bucky groans, helpless. “Oh, sugar. Keep tellin’ me, kitten.” 

Steve’s gasping. “Fuck me, _oh_ , gimme it, choke me, _fuck_ me —“ 

So Bucky tightens his hand around Steve’s throat and cuts off enough of his air that Steve has to gasp, and he fucks him, hard, and fast, and deep; “Yes,” Steve pants, “ _Yes,_ oh _, oh_ —“ and he smacks his hand against the wall, his nails digging in, trying to find purchase. Bucky gropes at Steve’s tits and squeezes and pinches a nipple, and just like that Steve comes, clenching up like a vice, and Bucky just fucks him harder, and harder, and chokes him brutally through it. 

“Yeah, you’re mine,” Bucky breathes. “Oh, baby, you’re mine.” 

Steve’s beyond noises, even. He makes a whimpering sound and shudders everywhere when he finally starts coming down from it, and then his head is just tipped back against Bucky’s shoulder, his mouth hanging open, delirious. Bucky’s hand whirs and clicks when he unsticks it from around Steve’s throat. He can’t keep fucking him; Stevie would cry but he could take it, and he’d love it, Bucky knows. But he feels too sweet to do that today. Bucky runs his hands all over his body, cupping his tits and his cock and his hips, and Steve starts to droop, limp and pleased and absorbed in Bucky’s attention. He gets like this sometimes. Asks to be smacked around, and loves it, and then looks at Bucky like he’s hung the moon. 

Bucky pulls out, careful. Steve makes a tiny mournful sound anyway, his brow furrowing up. Bucky turns Steve over and lays him out carefully on his back, propped against the pillows, and reaches down between his legs to press two fingers against Steve’s slick little hole, all hot, a little swollen. Steve settles. “M’here,” Bucky murmurs, and kisses Steve’s pliant mouth, and his eyelids, and his cheeks; God, he loves Steve. “M’right here.” 

Steve leans up to him like a sunflower following the light. He blinks his eyes open, hazy and blue. Bucky kisses him and kisses him, crazy for it. He can’t stop kissing him, and Steve melts right into it, even though he’s exhausted and just keeping his lips parted enough so Bucky can do what he wants. When Bucky pulls back he touches Steve’s mouth with his thumb, Steve, blissful, sucks at it. He looks dazed at Bucky when he gets on his knees and sways closer to him. Steve opens his mouth without having to be asked, and the second Bucky gets his dick in him, Steve’s eyes close again, and he hums a little, pleased, opening wide, letting Bucky fuck his throat.

“Oh, sweet thing,” Bucky murmurs, and he feels drunk. He reaches down to fit his left hand around Steve’s throat again, just resting, just letting him know he’s there. He trails his right fingers down the side of Steve’s face. “You’re so good to me.” Steve’s shoulders slump and his lashes flutter, and he’s so pliant, one hundred percent gone, floating somewhere up above the clouds, and he makes a tiny sound like a whimper. God, Steve loves that. He loves that. And Bucky loves giving it to him. “You’re so good, baby. You’re so good, look at you. Suck a little, that’s right. Jesus God, Stevie, you’re so good…” 

He cups the back of Steve’s skull in his right hand and, gentle-careful, makes him take more and more of it, until his nose bumps Bucky’s pelvis. Steve swallows around him and Bucky’s head falls back when he groans. His baby’s so sweet. It’s all he can think of. He’s so, so sweet. Bucky looks back down to watch that beautiful swollen mouth sucking on him, and he scratches at the back of Steve’s head, tugging at the short hair there, pulling Steve off. Steve sucks so hard his cheeks hollow out while he’s pulling away, and when Bucky’s cock is out of his mouth, pop, he blinks his eyes open real slow and dreamy, and looks up at Bucky with his wet red mouth and his flushed face, those big baby blues huge and damn near wondering. Bucky’s only human, at the end of the day. 

“Open your mouth,” Bucky says, and squeezes his left hand around Steve’s throat, just a little. Steve does right away, so inviting, tipping his head back, his tongue pressing pinkly to his bottom lip, his eyes heavy-lidded. “Goddamn,” murmurs Bucky, his cock in his right hand, “Baby, _fuck_ ,” and it only takes him a second, two solid tugs, and then he’s watching transfixed while he jerks it and comes all over Steve’s pretty mouth, his tongue, his chin. God. Jesus Christ. Steve makes a little noise and swallows and lets Bucky put his cock back in his mouth, hot and wetly open, and suckles on him a little more, just at the head. Bucky combs his hands through Steve’s hair. Finally he pulls away and leans down and kisses his pretty red mouth. Steve burrows into his side, clinging, quiet. Bucky puts his arms around him and draws aimless patterns on his spine, trying to catch his breath. He starts to worry.

“Stevie —“ 

“Don’t,” Steve murmurs. “God, Buck, Bucky…” 

“What is it?” 

Steve burrows closer. “You didn’t hurt me,” he whispers, against Bucky’s ear. “I liked it. I loved it.”

Bucky’s throat goes tight. “I didn’t hurt you,” he agrees, testing it out. Steve pulls back a little, and a quiet little smile is on his face. “I didn’t hurt you?” he tries again. 

“No, Buck; never.” 

“God,” Bucky laughs, suddenly giddy. “Steve —“ 

Steve kisses him. Their teeth clack together because Bucky can’t stop smiling. “Jesus,” he mumbles, and has to scrub at his face after his vision blurs. “Steve.” 

“Hey,” Steve says, and lays close to him again, and kisses his temple. “Yeah, Buck, hey.” His skin is warm under Bucky’s right hand, and present under his left. His left hand, which did something good for once, today. He made Steve feel good. It’s the best and simplest thing he’s ever known. He pulls Steve closer and tucks his chin over Steve’s head and feels Steve’s fingers trace along his torso. Bucky drifts for a while, with Steve curled up on top of him, and he touches Steve’s back with his left hand.

“Kitten?” Steve mumbles after a while, into Bucky’s neck. He’s incredulous and ruffled, and he pulls back enough to look, blearily accusatory, at Bucky. “ _Kitten?_ ” 

“What?” asks Bucky. “It’s true. You scratched the hell out of me, like an angry little pussycat —“ 

“You’re so full of it —” 

“— And when I pet you right, you purr —“ 

“Shut _up_ ,” Steve groans.

“Truth is, you make me so damn crazy, half the time I got no idea what comes out of my mouth.”  

Steve’s face goes soft. “That a fact?” 

“That’s a fact.” 

Steve settles with his back to Bucky, which means Bucky can pull him close, which means they’re dozing the evening away.

“You get it now?” asks Steve quietly. “You get it, Buck?”  

“I get it,” Bucky says, and buries his nose behind Steve’s ear, and after a while he falls asleep.


End file.
